Christmas Magic in a Cup

Your typical carton of Christmas magic

Recently I have discovered the delicious magic of eggnog, and I think that you people out there that were like me before this past Monday, all ignorant and nogless, should know what you are missing. 

This lovely creation, when homemade, is often heavily laced with booze of all kinds, and I personally haven't tried that kind so I don't know if it's good or not, but I have tried the pasteurized kind that is in a carton (it's pasteurized so you can't get salmonella from it, which my mom used to think that you could). There is no real way to describe how freaking delicious it is. It's like the tears of Jesus harvested then mixed with eggs and stuff and it is amazing.

I can finally understand why Timmy Turner's dad was such an eggnog junkie.

Image Credit: Tumblr

He loved it because it was such a versatile substance. It can be drank (drunk?) hot or cold, with a straw or without a straw, with a sprinkle of nutmeg, or mixed with ice cream (I personally like making peppermint chocolate eggnog milkshakes). It is pure Christmas magic in a cup, but before I knew that I was very skeptical to try it. This is how my first eggnog encounter went.

I slowly approached the refrigerator, seeing a strange new creature residing inside it. I reached forward cautiously, grabbing the carton from behind so as not to be bitten. I then popped open the mouth, staring into the belly of the beast. A wash of scent came rushing over me. It smelled vaguely like bubblegum or circus peanuts (the squishy marshmallow candy). I tipped the carton over my glass, pouring in just a swallow worth of the creamy, almost custard-like liquid, no less and no more. I cautiously raised the glass to my lips. That's when my taste buds started to go like this:

Imagine Homer is the eggnog, and the little hills are my tastebuds.
Image credit: Wyatt Sexton

Which made me react somewhat like this:

Image credit: Mashable

Possibly more like this:

Yes, my parents were scared when I turned into a dancing black man
Image credit: Mashable

Really, it's that good. If you have not tried it yet, you must try it before the holiday season is through. That way, on Christmas Eve when your parents are like:

Image credit: Tumblr

And you can be like:

You wish you had a cute little Santa hat like Timmy.
Image Credit: Tumblr

Because you know the magic of eggnog.

I made this meme. Can't you tell?
Props to Allie Brosh for bottom image.
And the top image is the Dos Equis guy, if you couldn't tell.

Stay thirsty my friends.